Highs and Lows

I wrote this below about a month ago and continued to debate about posting it on our blog. I didn’t want to come off too negative or that we’re stuck in our own western ways but after today’s doctor’s visit… I thought some might enjoy hearing the vast differences we face daily while living here in China. It’s definitely not a luxurious European cruise, nor would I want it to be that for I honestly believe we’ll come out stronger at the of the year after experiencing such a contrasting culture:

There are no mediocre days when living in China. Chad and I both agree that days are weighted on an extreme scale: You have either an awful day that really makes you wonder what kind of country you’re in or the opposite, where you’re so proud you took this amazing, life-changing step to experience a developing country, such as China. Obviously, I continue to stay here because of days such as those: The thrill of knowing you’re learning a complex language and actually, ACTUALLY holding the smallest of small conversations with locals, of feeling confident enough to dodge the trail of oncoming cars while merely trying to cross the street, of knowing how to successfully get around the city, of knowing when you’re being ripped off and being able to speak their language- showing them, you’re no ordinary fool (but pretty close), of people’s ‘bent-over-backwards’ kindness and seeing the sincerity in their eyes, of walking out the classroom door knowing your students have learned something and had fun spending the hour (+) with you, or even hearing one of your 5 year-old students create a song after class and the only word in it is- Ashlee. I love these days… truly, love them.

Today, however, was no such day. Nothing terrible happened but I caught myself thinking, ok, I’m ready to go home now. This ride has been fun but it’s over now, yes?? I’m just waiting for the safety harness to release and I’ll be on my way… yea, in nine months. Oy ve.

Unlike the great days, there are days where you find more bug bites than freckles on your body.
Days where you really wish for a price tag meaning-that’s the price. Period.
Days where you wonder if you woke up to your next life and forgot that you were a celebrity due to the photos being taken without your knowledge or the incessant stares. You begin to forget your manners and just glare right back.
Days where you can’t understand why China doesn’t have seat belts in their taxis when they drive as if you’re in the midst of a high pursuit.
Days where you notice the communism everywhere and can’t believe the things that are simply swept under the carpet-either because money has come to save the day or whether it’s a matter of saving face.
Days where you just want anything made with quality- as opposed to ‘the cheaper, the better’ philosophy.
Days where you see cockroaches the size of iPods
Days where you miss the feeling of being able to casually open your cupboards and not have cockroaches literally lurch directly at you (There have been several sudden screams from both of us- yes, Chad does scream if he has a cockroach jumping towards him)
Days where you feel you have absolutely no idea how to do your job
Days where you realize you know just a snippet of the language and the path towards fluency is so. So. Long
Days where all you hear is noise. Honking, incessant honking. (After all, it’s a second language here)
Days where little old ladies shove themselves in front of you and with quiet anger stirring inside you, you either (A) tap them on the shoulder and point out the obvious (THAT THERE’S A LINE!) (B) use the minimal language you know and tell them (HEY! I WAS FIRST!) or (C) you do all of thee above while glaring.
Days where you crave for a meal that you know is ‘safe’ and not ridden with salmonella or days when you play Russian roulette just by filling the ice-tray- with tap water. Opps.
Of course there are the days, where you taste the filth in your throat from the air quality, when you don’t want to even run an errand so as to save you from 15 minutes of breathing 5% oxygen- where you would kill for a days worth of clean, quality air and how it’s taken for granted
And days where you miss your family so much that you wonder if all this is really worth it…
Like I said, I stay here because of the good days, the new perspective I’m adopting, and the challenge of it all but at this moment, I’m filled with reminders that give me a strong reaction.